Despite tracking my ovulation religiously and not particularly wanting a fifth child, my husband and I still keep not using condoms when we have sex.
member when I’m fertile. Of course, then I have to wait another two weeks to make sure I’m not pregnant — and because I refuse to pay $15 for two pregnancy tests and no longer have the pregnancy test strips I used to buy in bulk — there’s this period of uncertainty where every premenstrual symptom is also an early sign of pregnancy.
Two, I refuse to go back on hormonal birth control. Like, I spent over a decade on birth control and then had four babies back to back — I paid my fucking dues. Why should birth control be my fucking problem now? Yes, yes. I do realize that me getting pregnant would be an even larger problem — but also — why the fuck is the onus on me not to get pregnant when he should also think about not impregnating me?— but I don’t want to. I don’t want to get a tubal ligation .
I was so stunned I may have said that to his face. His excuse? I normally took care of it so he figured that I would know if it was okay for him to come inside of me.Now, before I get a bunch of emails about me being irresponsible and playing sperm roulette, please know that though my husband and I would prefer not to have a fifth child, we are financially and emotionally able to support one should we decide to keep a fifth pregnancy to term.
I’ve given away most of our baby stuff and though I get baby fever whenever I see my younger friends get pregnant or post pics of their adorable newborns, I know we’re done having children. Our kids are finally old enough to be mostly independent . I relish the freedom of children who prefer to generally ignore me unless they want more screen time — though my youngest has perhaps an unseemly attachment to my breasts .
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