Meet the incredibly hot Formula 1 drivers who get me to the finish line.
“But the drivers are hot,” she responded. So, I pivoted to a solid, “Yah.”stalking sessions later, I am now the girl screaming at my colleagues that they must — MUST — watch the recently released fourth season ofWhile fashion magazines are subtly, employing Undertones and Photoshoots to cement the drivers as idols in some sort of speedy new paganism, they won’t give it to you straight like I’m gonna give it to you.
To preface, I do not know jackshit about an F1 car’s chassis or gearbox, but I do know that these men tap into my innermost Luddite sensibilities: the sort of dense attraction to those who carry large objects or operate heavy machinery. Better still, these F1 drivers don’t putz around the states like good ol’ American mommy’s boys.
To the lovely humans of Formula 1, I am sorry to objectify you in this way. Yes, you are fashionable little sailors with unrivaled athleticism and an enduring spirit, but most importantly, you are Mustangs in-the-flesh with perhaps even bigger horse dicks than I had imagined. Time to plow my way through the Mercedes, McLaren, and Ferrari driver line-ups like a hungry, hungry hippo on a mission to munch as I explain the reasons why I’d bone my favorite F1 drivers of appropriate age.
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