'If we want to live in a more equitable world, then we must see to it that we have healthy and intentional conversations about how we and those around us are impacted by the discriminatory and dehumanizing culture of racism and colorism.'
, there is a financial advantage placed on those who exist on the paler end of the color spectrum and burden placed on those on the darker end. The whiter you are on this island, the more wealth you tend to have. With whiteness, and proximity to it, holding economic, social, and cultural capital, it is by no coincidence that lighter skin is preferred and celebrated.
But just because I understand the colonial legacy that breeds this ideology doesn’t mean I have to accept or tolerate it. Instead, I’ve decided to put an end to the color-obsessed commentary and use these remarks to have uncomfortable conversations with people I love about anti-Blackness, colorism, and colonialism.
During communal cafecitos, when we discuss the news, community events, and family gossip, I also make sure to sprinkle in conversations that might help them develop a consciousness around race. I connect specific injustices we are watching unfold in the news with the anti-Black ideologies I hear them or others espouse. I sprinkle in comments about the negative connotations used to talk about Black and Indigenous features and how language suddenly becomes positive when discussing white features.
We set hard boundaries with our families, like challenging them to be more compassionate with each other, in the hopes that they replicate this same behavior with everyone else around them. For example, my partner’s dad makes fun of his wife’s coily hair, and she in turn jokes about his round belly. While they seem to have a light laugh picking at each other's insecurities, these jokes are rooted in texturism and fatphobia.
Fundamentally, these conversations are therapeutic, and they’re helping us build a healthier environment for all of us. In our efforts to break cycles of internalized hate, our families have slowly caught on. Rio just turned eight months old, and his extended family is learning to choose their words wisely around him.
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