'We put enough pressure on ourselves as it is; we don't need the pressure of believing everyone else is watching.'
trying to negotiate her way into a cellphone, thinking it was her insistence that was most hilarious. I didn't mention my reasons for disagreeing with her desired phone timing, nor did I say anything meant to disparage another parent's choices. I merely shared the story of her persistence.
I expected people to laugh at her determination, but what I got instead was my comment notifications blowing up with other parents frantically explaining why they got their own kids phones at young ages."We have too many kids going in too many different directions . . .""Don't judge. You don't know our circumstances."
We're all so afraid of being judged in parenthood, we jump to explain ourselves and our parenting decisions, even when we shouldn't need to.The thing was, I hadn't been judging. Not even a little bit. I had simply declared that my youngand laughing at her refusal to accept that fact. It was everyone else who had taken someone making a parenting decision different from their own as a reason to jump in and explain themselves. When those explanations hadn't been in any way expected.
After an entire comment thread of my responding to multiple people,"I wasn't questioning anyone else's choices, I was just sharing a parenting story — you do you!," I started to think about this phenomenon I'd witnessed of parents feeling the need to overexplain themselves in the face of another parent making different choices. And it occurred to me that we have a tendency of doing this with a lot of things.
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