I just need a break 😩
The joyful chaos of a family home is something I dreamed of, and it remains the place I’m happiest and most at ease. There’s nothing better than puttering around my kitchen while the kids make plasticine animals at the table and my husband wanders in and out of the backyard, commenting on the state of the grass. It’s always too dry, a little long, a bit patchy here and there; my husband thinks about the yard more in one afternoon than I have in my entire life.
So into the woods I go, deep in the corners of my mind. There, I find a small, charming cabin that is somehow both abandoned and impressively clean, furnished with a comfortable bed and endless shelves of books. There are no spiders. There is a wood-burning fireplace. Magically, there is a coffee maker and my favourite pottery mug. Outside, a thick blanket of trees with wildflowers scattered below. Maybe a lake. There are no clocks. Most importantly, there are no other people.
But even my fantasies are rigorous in their demands. For this scenario to truly please me, it needs to be more robust. There must be specific details in place to mollifyand remove any burden of guilt. My family isn’t gone and does not miss me; they’re safe and happy, knowing I’ll be right back. I’ve stepped away, but I’ll soon walk through our front door again. The freedom isn’t in walking away from a life I don’t want—I want my life so, so much—it’s in pausing it.
And yet it’s so goddamn normal to need to escape sometimes. We all need a cabin in the woods to head to—both literally and figuratively.
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