I loved Jeff dearly, but I didn't want to become a 'wife', or give credence to a wedding culture that often sees women waiting on a ring, dressing up in virginal white, and being given away by their fathers.
Falling in love seemed like the icing on a life well lived, not one spent searching for some happily ever after. After a few years together we had bought a house, where we both imagined growing old. Then, in 2007, Jeff suggested we marry.
After the rented furniture and tableware was returned, the presents opened, and thank you notes sent out, our days returned to familiar routines. After living this way for a few years, a great opportunity for him meant quitting a job I loved on a local newspaper and a move that left us far away from my daughter and the community we'd nurtured in Northern California.
I've also admired the ease in which he slipped into the role of step-parent, loving and supporting our beautiful daughter through those years when she went off to college and then made her way into adulthood.
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