Dear Care and Feeding: Maybe my bias is showing here.
, whose support of motherless daughters, and especially motherless mothers, has been a lifeline for many women .Now let’s talk about your son. Your own profound loss, of course, colors the way you think of him and no doubt always has. I think the annual letters are a lovely idea, and may indeed delight your son when he gets to read them . But I also think it’s important for you to fully understand—I mean deep down, not just intellectually—that he is not you, and you are not your mother.
If that were to occur, would he suddenly become the 3-year-old you were when you suffered your catastrophic loss? Absolutely not. He would have his own experience, and no, it is not something you can prepare him for. Trying to prepare him for such an event would only serve to alarm and worry him .On the other hand, I assure you that the fact that people die—that everyone and everything living will eventually die—would not be news to him. He has heard of death.
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