Is Your Angry Child Actually Anxious?

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Is Your Angry Child Actually Anxious?
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Is your child throwing tantrums you can't understand? Underlying anxiety could be a cause. Here's what you need to know

itself keeps them from saying the worries out loud. If a demand is made that triggers or escalates their perception of threat, their little human selves go into full-on fight mode—because it perceives the need to fight to stay alive.

She hadn’t talked about these thoughts with anyone, in part because she wasn’t really aware that they weren’t something that everyone thought about. She was also afraid that if she told someone, they would try to convince her that it was safe and would make her leave the house more. She felt bad that she was always causing so many problems at home and that her parents were so upset, but she didn’t know how to change things.

Most days, Harriet would eventually get to school late once she was worn out and unable to fight anymore, but there were days she couldn’t get to school at all. Teachers and school were frustrated with Harriet and with her parents—wondering why they couldn’t control an 8-year-old child. In school, Harriet was distractible, irritable, and withdrawn. Multiple emails were exchanged and many meetings happened.

If you find out that your child does seem to have more worries than you were initially aware of, these worries may be contributing to their meltdowns. It can help you begin to shift your approach to their episodes of distress.How do we handle meltdowns that are anxiety-driven? The basics of managing kids with anxious outbursts are often different from typical recommendations. Remember that we are dealing with the “back of the brain” that is perceiving life/death stakes.

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