While most of us are salt-dusted with the dried remains of late July sweat, wearing our Cheeto-crusted uniform of two-days-worn pajamas as we do our best not to die, Martha Stewart is living what looks like the best summer of her fucking life. From dunking on Chelsea Handler by the pool to possibly holding a few employees hostage, Martha’s days seem absolutely packed right now. And though her Instagram posts are tinged with the same ennui from which we all suffer this miserable summer, shots of Martha sunbathing followed by shots of well-muscled young men literally trimming her hedges roll out one by one, like a seductive French indie film drizzled with sort of ennui that might end in a passionate affair or possibly a sexy murder or some combination of both. And like an art-house movie, the action of her Instagram frequently cuts away to desperately perfect aerial shots of bleeding berry cakes or the roasted flesh of juicy meat barely clinging to the bone. It is a darkly glamourous mood for a period of time that is mostly just dark.
While most of us are salt-dusted with the dried remains of late July sweat, wearing our Cheeto-crusted uniform of two-
days-worn pajamas as we do our best not to die, Martha Stewart is living what looks like the best summer of her fucking life. From dunking on Chelsea Handler by the pool to possibly holding a few employees, Martha’s days seem absolutely packed right now.
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