'Menopause left me retiring early and changing my name – my adventure is just starting'
Over recent years, the way we talk about menopause has changed, and more and more women are speaking about their experience of ‘The Change’. From Davina McCall’s groundbreaking documentaries to former Loose Women star Andrea McLean’s menopause book, the stigma surrounding the menopause is, thankfully, gradually starting to shift.
For as long as I could remember, I’d been working towards something. Now my invincibility had been replaced with invisibility. On top of that, I suffered with chronic fatigue syndrome after a bout of swine flu. I went from swimming at the gym every morning to being too weak to put on my swimsuit. Eventually I had to give up the job I loved prematurely, for my own wellbeing. I didn’t for one minute think I’d struggle with this stage of life as I’d always had lots of interests. But I simply didn’t see myself as old enough to be retired.
During this time, I started a journal, where I scribbled down my thoughts and feelings, to try and make sense of why I was finding life difficult. Writing really saved my sanity. It also gave me the purpose I was craving. I sought out other liked-minded women and as I spoke to them about their experiences and put them down in writing, I felt less alone and less unusual.
I am hoping that by the time my two daughters and my four granddaughters reach ‘cronehood’, society will be different. They will be more aware of their own health and their own worth – and wonder what I made such a fuss about. I’m single again and I’ve even got a new name – shortening Janice, a title I long disliked, to Jay, as I turned 64. Last summer I made a long dreamed of solo trip to the Scottish islands.
My happiest place was listening to and performing Carnatic music, the ancient classical music of southern India. I’d go on to create my own business offering workshops before collaborating on events with the Yorkshire Sculpture Park, composing with the Icelandic Symphonic Orchestra and performing at the Royal Albert Hall. That last one happened because I invited the CEO for coffee, remembering my mother’s advice: it’s always worth asking – the worst they can say is no.
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