Advice from Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin.
I don’t understand when someone asks, “Are you busy tomorrow?” or “What are you doing Friday?” If you say “no” or “nothing,” it’s like you’re automatically free to do them a favor. I find this very rude.
How do I counter the assumption that since I’m not busy, I want to do something for them? Sometimes I just want to do nothing.GENTLE READER: The answer, when you are asked about your own schedule, is “Why?” -- which Miss Manners instructs you to deliver with a winning smile, not a suspicious sulk.My husband and I were invited to my best friend’s house to have dinner with her and her cousin. We had only been there a short time when the cousin began berating a church for allowing gay marriage.I waited for my friend to say something, but she did not. I said, “We disagree about this subject, so let’s not discuss religion or politics.
My friend said nothing. I was in her home and couldn’t say what I really wanted to say. We finished our meal quickly and left.
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