Should I give her cash or nothing? She’s a lot more well-off than I am.
: My sister and I got shower invitations that we don’t understand. It’s for a close friend of ours from high school who just got engaged, and the hostess is a friend of hers we don’t know very well.Miss Manners: A virtual stranger hijacked our lunch date. What could we have done?We like our friend very much and want to celebrate her engagement, but we don’t know what to get her.
The pleasure in the custom of exchanging presents is supposed to derive from the possibility of surprising someone with something that person would like but hadn’t thought of, or had wanted but hadn’t acquired . It is a symbolic way of saying, “I notice you, I think I understand you, and I’ve been thinking about what might please you.
But this came with a different catch. Instead of “I understand you,” this practice says, “I have your shopping list.” What is the pleasure in giving or receiving if the sentiment has been removed?
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