Miss Manners: It feels wrong to be called by my title while colleagues are referred to by their first names

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Miss Manners: It feels wrong to be called by my title while colleagues are referred to by their first names
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On the other hand, I feel ridiculous calling people “Mr.” or “Ms.”

You have written, “It has always been Miss Manners’ belief that respect demands addressing people as they wish to be addressed.” If I asked a staff member what they preferred to be called, my assumption is that they would say their first name, but I’m not ready to ask because I feel it would be odd.

There will likely be much joshing about how old-fashioned you are being. But in fact, the opposite is true. Traditionally, high-ranking people were addressed with titles, whereas those seen as inferior were addressed with their names -- not just servants and other employees, but all Black people and women. That everyone must be treated with respect is a modern concept, however muddied by the concept of universal informality.

There is a reason for a bit of formality in professional manners: If terms of address in the workplace reflected people’s true emotions about one another, good or bad, there probably wouldn’t be much work getting done.

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