This was the last piece of mail I received from mother before she died, and I am very grateful to those who recognized the love and effort that she put into sending it.
; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.)DEAR MISS MANNERS: When did “RSVP” cease to mean “Please respond, yes or no” and come to mean “Respond only if your answer is yes”? I receive a lot of evites and such, and they all seem to imply this new interpretation of the old phrase.
GENTLE READER: Can we please do away with that form? Apparently nobody understands it -- did everyone fail high school French? -- and it is now annoyingly used as a noun.Yes, as those of you who did ace high school French will point out, the phrase is actually “if you please,” but the “if” is not supposed to be taken literally. It is safe to presume that few people, even those who give large parties, can prepare adequately when they do not know how many guests they will have.
So let’s put it in plain English: “Please respond.” The more formal version is “The favor of a reply is requested.” Notice that Miss Manners does not use the British spelling, “favour” -- why all the foreign phrases? -- nor does she condone “Regrets only.” It is not for the host to presume that a prospective guest would regret skipping the party.DEAR MISS MANNERS: I had a “friend”/co-worker stab me in the back and betray my trust.
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