Miss Manners: What can I do about their inappropriate hostess gift?

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Miss Manners: What can I do about their inappropriate hostess gift?
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Plus: How should I dress when the invitation says ‘creative formal’?

Donating the money, laudable as that may be, does not make the point; it only accepts the idea that the payment is legitimate, and that you can use it as you choose. Miss Manners advises you to return it with the explanation that you cannot accept the money, as this person was your guest.Three years ago, I adopted a vegan lifestyle; my husband did not, but we’ve found a way to peacefully coexist.

I’ve made sure my husband thanks them for these gifts, but I have remained mute about them. Otherwise, I’m a prodigious thank-you note writer, even when I receive something I cannot use or don’t like.Whether their motive is to taunt you, or merely to give your husband a treat they believe he would not otherwise get, Miss Manners advises you not to acknowledge the challenge. You do not even have to acknowledge the present — your husband properly does so, as it seems to be intended for him alone.

But perhaps you feel you must address their having “included” you in the gift. In that case, you would write, “Connor asked me to thank you for sending him the side of beef. We both wish you a very happy new year.”GENTLE READER:Suppose a person verbally expresses how much they like a gift, how they will enjoy using it, etc., but never actually says the words “thank you.

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