More than 4,000 Pennsylvania children have lost a loved one to COVID-19. But many of them are mourning alone. 'Pennsylvania is facing a grief crisis among kids, and we’re not doing nearly enough to address it,' writes local mom Alison McCook.
When I was about 9 years old, one of my caregivers died. She was the sister of my grandmother, and took care of me most days after school. She built me a dollhouse, which remains one of my most cherished possessions. Once a week, she took me to a store that sold dollhouse furniture and I could pick one thing; eventually, all the rooms were furnished.
When she got cancer, my world split apart. Whenever I had time alone, I would plead with the universe to keep her alive. But my grief wasn’t obvious to the adults around me: I didn’t visit her in the hospital or cry at her funeral because I was so afraid to let myself feel, afraid I might break down in front of everybody.
I never got to say goodbye to her, or tell her how much she meant to me — which remains one of the biggest regrets of my life.Years later, after my parents died, I cried and cried. I went to therapy and found a community of other people who had lost parents so that I could feel less alone. I processed my grief, so it doesn’t burn in the same way it did before. But I couldn’t do that as a kid. Now, almost 40 years later, my heart still hurts when I think about my grandmother’s sister.
But there are limits to that resilience, especially when kids lose a caregiver, who is part of their safety net. It splits their world apart.There are resources available locally for grieving kids whose families have the energy and ability to take advantage of them. Eluna, for instance, offers free
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