Dear Care and Feeding: I think our kids are old enough to sort through this disagreement on their own.
This isn’t a major argument, but it is clearly something that’s been festering for a while. I feel like they should be able to handle this themselves. My brother and his wife think we should get more involved in this. My wife and I think that our son just has to understand that he can’t force his cousin to stop dressing up, so he either has to stop playing with her on days she’s dressing up or just learn to live with the extra attention on those days.
From what you’ve said in the letter, I tend to agree with you that a meeting with the kids isn’t the correct intervention here. Neither of the kids is doing anything wrong, and you don’t want to inadvertently teach them that a person’s self-expression or hobby gets to be a committee decision.
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