A moment in a makeup store gave me the glimpse of hope that I desperately needed.
When our child came out as transgender, we knew we were going to need other people's kindness and help.The first time I voiced the words “my daughter” was to Gary, the salesperson in Sephora: “My daughter is here for her first makeup.” I said the words softly, behind them an unspoken plea: Be kind to her. Please help us., we hugged her and told her how much we loved her. We smiled and told her we were proud of her. We were.
For 14 years I had thought that I could get through any life or parenting challenge with more effort, more control, more strength. But the day we began to know our child by a different name, a higher part of me instantly knew I would need to become softer rather than tougher. And, possibly a scarier realization: I was going to need other people’s kindness and help.
The principal of her school and the pastor of St. Luke’s parish helped, quickly processing name-change paperwork in time to start high school and be confirmed into the Episcopal Church as herself.
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