He just came clean.
My husband just came clean that he’s been stealing my family and friend’s panties for years. We have been together for three decades. We were having a heart-to-heart talk, and he told me he’s been stealing underwear from my female family and friends. He’s a good man, and I’ve always known he has an underwear fetish. He likes to masturbate with soiled sexy panties, and I’m OK with that. But to steal other people’s, my loved ones’, and do this? Please help. He’s always been loyal.
Disgust is a completely understandable reaction to violations of consent. Betrayal is utterly reasonable in response to your—presumably monogamous—husband involving others, even if it’s in a secondary manner, in his sexuality. And feelings of inadequacy make absolute sense if you expect to fill all of your partner’s sexual desires.
The issue, however, is that my wife complains bitterly during intercourse about condoms, saying how much “better” everything is without them, and frequently tries to proceed past foreplay without one. Obviously, I don’t love the way condoms feel either, but if we don’t want to have kids right now and can’t use other birth control options, what are we supposed to do? This is a huge turn-off for me. I feel like she is not respecting my wishes even as I respect hers.
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