Dear Care and Feeding: My son has good reason for this, but I’m still not sure…
Do not invite a child your son is afraid of! But you cannot exclude one child if the whole class is invited, either. Your son’s desire to have a big party, inviting everyone in his class but this one troubled child, is not one you should fulfill. I don’t think it’s such a bad thing for your son to learn at 8 that we strive not to hurt anyone’s feelings even if we dislike them. Even if they make us anxious. Even if we are downright afraid of them.
I would say that if you’re going to throw him a party—and I certainly don’t think you should cancel plans for a party, which seems punitive—his only option is to invite just a few of the kids he’s closest to. Make sure he knowswould rather not have a party at all than do that, so be it.I have a 16-year-old daughter and a 10-year-old son. My son was diagnosed with autism when he was 6.