Dear Care and Feeding: I’m not sure what this weird iciness means for our future.
My wife and I have wanted to have kids for a long time, and now feel like we’re emotionally and financially ready for it. The problem is that my wife has a rare genetic predisposition to cancer which requires major, life-altering surgery. Her grandfather died as a result of this condition, and her mother was diagnosed after my wife was born—they didn’t know it was inheritable until later.
I don’t think there’s a clear moral imperative here, either way. I’ve been asking myself what I would do in your situation, and I honestly don’t know—I think I’d feel quite torn. But having kids is always a risk; we can never know what they will face in their lives. For what it’s worth, many people in your situation do choose to have biological children, knowing that they may pass on similar risks.
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