In college, I tried to get into my dorm room with my car keys.
Tap to play or pause GIF"I’m a police officer, and on more than one occasion, I’ve asked Alexa to turn on the overhead light inside my patrol car.""I work at a grocery store, and one of my jobs is to put back the abandoned carts. On multiple occasions after grabbing the cart, I go on autopilot and start grocery shopping.""Once, I was at the doctor's office and I didn't have my phone, so I decided to look at a magazine.
"I was visiting a friend, and one of her chickens had just had chicks. I was watching them for a long time before I asked, 'Do chickens have nipples?' Of course, chicks break free from their eggs with their teeny beaks, so I was thinking how painful they must be on mama chickens' nipples when they feed. Chickens do not produce milk. Chickens are not mammals. I am a big dumb mammal.""I recently tried to steam the pocket of a button-down shirt while I was wearing it.
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