After living with a roommate for years, a move to live solo comes with 'constant fear' of being excluded when everyone else is hanging out.
Well, now I'm in my new place, and I just live in constant fear that my friends are hanging out without me. It goes away while I'm working, and emerges at night and on the weekends as a constant anxiety.
The group typically makes a weekend plan together, but weekday nights seem to be a free for all with people hanging out. My therapist just keeps asking me what I can do to help myself feel better. And short of trying to force my friends to always invite me places, I’m not sure what I can do. I also have a fear of coming up with a plan myself, and no one saying yes. Any advice?First suggestion is renaming what you have.
But because your bad feelings are largely about something that is happening sometimes, whether out of innocent proximity/spontaneity or deliberate exclusion, that would explain why you’re getting the response you’ve gotten from your therapist.
If so, please take it. Your friends might be lovely and simpatico and devoted to you for the long haul, but they’re still not, at least for a while, the best besties for a teetotaler.immediately ruling out where your therapist is trying to lead you. I also beg you to stop using “FOMO.” Lingo forms to convey a relevant concept, but with overuse it becomes the enemy of nuance and even a dodge unto itself. You have partially faced something really important. It’s not a thing, a moment, a mood, it’s you. Good for you. Now go follow through.
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