You cause far more damage than if you'd said nothing at all.
I have a neighborhood friend who I used to go to dinners with, our kids would play in the street, and we’d spend hours venting about how hard motherhood was. We were both stay-at-home-moms when our kids were young and we were thankful for each other.
She looked at me and hesitated, then came up with every excuse in the book as to why she wouldn’t be able to do that even though she stayed at home with her kids who got along great with my kids, and she lived two doors down from me. She couldn’t do it, which was fine, of course. I didn’t ask her why, but I did feel kind of weird when — after skipping my son’s lacrosse game so I could race back home and get my daughter after dropping him off so we could make the meeting — I saw her and her son exiting her driveway and going to the meeting from their house.
It’s rare people have time to listen to how you truly are, so we just nod our head, say the predictable,”I’m great, how are you?” then talk about the weather and shit like that.
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