Putin’s Stooges: He May Nuke Us All but We Are Ready to Die

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Putin’s Stooges: He May Nuke Us All but We Are Ready to Die
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Just when you thought Russian airwaves could not get any stranger, Vladimir Putin’s puppets have now surrendered to the idea of nuclear apocalypse, because at least they’ll “go to heaven.”

, which is being portrayed as a war waged against the Kremlin by the collective West. Patriotic citizens are now being primed for the idea that even the worst outcome is a good thing, because those dying for the motherland will skyrocket to paradise., Vladimir Avatkov of Russia’s Diplomatic Academy of the Ministry of Foreign Affairs delivered an Orwellian perspective of current events.

In perhaps the most shocking declaration about a nuclear holocaust delivered on Russian television in recent months, Simonyan concluded that the idea “that everything will end with a nuclear strike, to me, isthan the other outcome. This is to my horror, on one hand, but on the other hand, with the understanding that it is what it is.” Solovyov chimed in: “But we will go to heaven, while they will simply croak.” Simonyan comforted the audiences by adding: “We’re all going to die someday.

In a bizarre attempt to soften the blow of Russia’s grim predicament, state TV host and media personality Dmitry Kulikov told audiences that war is sometimes “inevitable.” “This is a big war. The West declared it against us. It’s being waged through different methods, never seen before, but there’s never been as many nuclear weapons in the world either,” he said. “That is the only thing that sets this war apart from all others. This is a historical event, something we’re used to.

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