Record-breaking pot-dodger Kane still top of Premier League players to win f*** all

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Record-breaking pot-dodger Kane still top of Premier League players to win f*** all
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The best 10 Premier League players to have won absolutely f*** all has a new entrant. Not at No. 1 though...this guy is head and shoulders beyond.

Date published: Tuesday 28th February 2023 3:03 -Wheeling out the ol’ Harry Kane List for another spin, because a) why not? and b) he’s helped himself to some more individual honours and c) despite Spurs being quite alarmingly sh*t for large parts of this season there remains a non-zero chance he might ruin it all and win something.

As for his England goalkeeping mates, both Jordan Pickford and Aaron Ramsdale are ruled out of contention here by Toulon success, although both await a first club pot. Don’t think we’re speaking out of turn by suggesting Ramsdale looks the likelier to put that to bed some time soon.

As Barney Ronay wrote on his retirement in 2013: ‘He never won a trophy or any individual award of note. He leaves effectively no mark at all, his most memorable act on a football pitch being punched by a team-mate in 2005. His career is, in outline, a modern sporting absurdity.’ Sliding doors and all that: Leighton Baines came close to joining Manchester United in 2013.

Made a tentative return from Mourinho-inflicted wilderness under Ryan Mason’s friendly caretakership at Spurs but early promise under Nuno Espirito Santo proved as fleeting as the manager’s. Nuno was gone by November, and by the end of January Dele’s Spurs career was over as well. Would that boost his silverware chances? Logically it would be near impossible to reduce them, except he went to Frank Lampard’s Everton.

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