'Over a hundred years separates these two deaths. But in the bodies of Black and Brown women, time seems to function differently. The past and present collapse into each other.'
None of this surprises me: Chattel slavery, the root from which we are still growing, required the violent disregard of Black women and their bodies. Otherwise, the “breeding” and sale of enslaved children would have been unthinkable. Slavery itself would have been unthinkable. No, it doesn’t surprise me. But it eats me alive. It is, in fact, eating us all alive. That, as William Faulkner said, “The past is never dead. It’s not even past.
Unlike my ancestor, who had at least a moment of agency before she died, Breonna Taylor did not have a chance to say yes or no to the officers at her door asking—with a battering ram—to come in. She was not given the grace or respect that being in one’s home, in American jurisprudence, is supposed to create. In hopeful moments, I think, “If only it had been daytime! If only she could have answered the door and spoken with them!” I question, though, whether it would have made a difference.
I think about this inevitability with Laura, my great-great grandmother, too—could she have altered her destiny, standing pregnant on her porch and talking to the police? Do I wish that she had told the Rangers, “Yes, come on in,” and swung the screen door open? Do I dare to think that, had she saidinstead of no, she might have lived, we might have had a happy ending? I do not. Because I think those Rangers would have killed, raped, or harmed Laura and her kids no matter what she did.
More than a hundred years separate these two deaths. But in the bodies of Black and Brown women, time seems to function differently. The past and present collapse into each other. The future seems to lead to things we’ve already seen. In our bodies, the story of linear American progress looks more mythical than real. There is, of course, a way to test how much progress has been made: The test is whether the men who killed Breonna—unlike the men who killed Laura—will be held accountable.
Savala Nolan Trepczynski is the executive director of the Thelton E. Henderson Center for Social Justice at the UC Berkeley School of Law. Her collection of essays about race and gender will be published by Simon & Schuster in 2021. Follow her at
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