She Was a Brain Expert — Until She Lost Her Memory

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She Was a Brain Expert — Until She Lost Her Memory
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“I think losing our mind is one of the most terrifying concepts for anybody. And the irony of a brain scientist at Harvard who loses her mind and lives to tell the tale — I think it’s just a great story of the human spirit”

Photo-Illustration: by Stevie Remsberg; Photograph by Michael Collopy Doing the Most is a special series about ambition — how we define it, harness it, and conquer it.

In the beginning, I had no concept of that. I didn’t have that capacity, just like an infant child. My mother’s only hope for me was that I would be able to one day live independently again. I had no skills. I had no language in my mind telling me I was Jill. Without knowing who you are, you have no data about your life beyond the present moment experience of being hungry or being tired or being in awe.

I was also so grateful that I was still alive. I made a conscious effort to stay out of my way emotionally or say, Well, I’m less than what I was. Another thing that was very helpful was that I was given years to recover. When I left the hospital after the stroke, my neurologist said to me, “We won’t know anything for a couple of years.” Because she gave me years, I felt free to sleep and take my time and not make negative judgments about myself.Oh yeah.

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