Sleeping Around in a Pandemic

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Sleeping Around in a Pandemic
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“It’s pretty sexy. Everyone’s scared of getting caught. The fact that the government is getting stricter and stricter adds a fun, spicy element to this. It’s kind of going behind the law. It’s like prohibition.'

Illustration: By Stevie Remsberg Kate promised herself she wouldn’t see him until all of this was over. She and a longtime friend had confessed romantic feelings for each other in March, just before social distancing measures were put into place in Toronto, where they live. Even though they wanted to meet up, the two felt a moral obligation to be “good citizens” and resisted the urge, instead resigning themselves to “long, meandering phone calls.

Quietly, people have already been breaking the rules to have sex. Some, like Kate, have tried to abstain but eventually conceded. Others have brazenly defied regulations from the beginning. Many more seem to be tottering in between, looking for a near-impossible bargaining agreement that would permit them to have sex without compromising their conscience.

And after you break one rule, it’s tempting to break more. Recently, a young woman named Gina went to a friend’s apartment to do laundry; she figured it was safer than going to a laundromat where she lives in New York, even though it’s technically against the rules. While she didn’t lug her dirty laundry to her friend’s place with any premeditated intentions, the two ended up having sex once her clean clothes were stuffed into a bag, ready to be hauled back home.

Julian, a 41-year-old from Austin, was also forthright about his need for sex. “You can still communicate with people through phone and video chat, but it’s like the old Coca-Cola slogan — ‘you can’t beat the real thing.’” Throughout the stay-at-home orders, Julian has continued to sleep with four people, with whom he has preexisting relationships. He says he has sex a few times a week, usually at his house.

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