Son, I’ll Always Love You Whether You’re Straight Or A Closeted Gay

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Son, I’ll Always Love You Whether You’re Straight Or A Closeted Gay
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  • 📰 TheOnion
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'Of course, I’m already proud. Straight or gay but living an agonizing lie, that’s not changing.'

You’re my son, no matter what. Whether you love women or repress your homosexuality your entire life makes not the slightest difference to me. Why should it? Why should it matter if you’re straight? Why should it matter if you’re gay but pretending to be straight in every conceivable way? Why should I care who you have feelings for as long as I’m always led to believe it’s a woman? Well, I don’t care. And when the time comes to tell me, I promise I’ll hear you out: If you’re straight, great.

All she wants is a grandchild down the line, and she doesn’t care if it’s from a woman you love or a woman you start a family with because you have to follow through on the straight-male charade, even if it means betraying your wife with a series of clandestine same-sex encounters that make you feel sick and ashamed.a female friend who will stand in as a special young lady convincingly enough to throw us off the scent for a while—you never have to worry that it’s going to be awkward.

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