.TigNotaro’s pandemic experience? “I immediately thought, ‘Oh my God, my stepfather died on FaceTime with me.’ ”
Photo illustration by Slate. Photo by Presley Ann/Getty Images for the Los Angeles LGBT Center.
I felt very much like a baby giraffe trying to stand up. I was so sick. I was so sad. I had never been so vulnerable or personal onstage. I had not shared my dating life. Even when I was diagnosed with cancer, I called my manager and said, “I don’t want anybody in this town knowing that I’m sick.” I was scared I wouldn’t work again. I was operating out of fear. But then something came over me where I just thought, you know what, I essentially lost everything—I have nothing to lose.
I was on a roller coaster. I had moments of strength and then it would go away. But I would have been only rock bottom or a long time if I hadn’t put myself out there—I was essentially asking for help. A part of me was saying, “I don’t think I can do this on my own.” I was somebody who would not ask for help. That night kind of cracked me open in that way where I started to ask for help. And it took me a long time.
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