There’s a general assumption that people know the unspoken, unwritten, often mysterious rules of social engagement. These assumptions do not account for the experience of living with neurodiversity. It’s never too late to learn how to have a conversation.
. Use these pointers to participate in conversations appropriately and confidently.Always ask if you can join an ongoing conversation instead of jumping in. If you just plop yourself down, you may or may not be wanted. Then — this is2. Participate in the conversation
Remain engaged by practicing and showing good listening skills. Reflect back part of what you hear with mirroring statements such as, “So what you’re saying is…” or summarizing statements like, “Oh, wow, you just got that new job. Fantastic.” These statements are validating and show the other person that you’re tuned in., but not so many questions that it feels like you are conducting an interview.
Pause before you interrupt a conversation to catch up on something you may have missed. By blurting something like, “What? What’s happening?” you’ll only show others that you’ve. Instead, discreetly ask a nearby friend, “What are they talking about?” or simply track the conversation to get up to speed.
When speaking, pay attention to the speed of your words and the volume. Are you speaking too slowly or quickly? Or louder or quieter than other people? Can you hear yourself? What is the tone of your voice? Can a buddy signal to you if you’re too loud or too soft? Check out other people’s facial reactions for information about the speed and volume of your voice., too. Interest and engagement look open and calm — a relaxed posture, leaning forward, or making eye contact.
Most importantly, you want to appear genuine in conversation. Try to avoid saying or doing something that’s based on your own anxiety or insecurities and stay present with what’s happening instead.When it’s time to leave the conversation, acknowledge your departure. Don’t just get up and leave. Say something about needing to leave like, “Great to see you again. I gotta run. See you soon.” This shows you are exiting the conversation rather than leaving and abandoning it.
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