Keep your perfect color schemes and “tasteful” decor.
Recently, I saw a TikTok by a woman complaining about how she wanted an “aesthetic” Christmas tree, but her husband had insisted on hanging his childhood ornaments, which she showed off with a soundtrack ofOne looked like an octopus made of flesh-colored Play-Doh, which doesn’t even have anything to do with Christmas, but who cares? Here’s the thing: The best Christmas ornaments areterrible. Forget the tasteful silver balls and stunning dried orange garlands that look so good online.
My parents, for instance, have an ornament I made as a school project in probably the third grade. Using a smaller-than-wallet-size school photo from what wasa cute year for me personally, I’ve been transformed into an angel via crinkled up paper and pipe cleaners. It does not look particularly good. It looks like exactly what it is: an arts and crafts project by somebody who still isn’t particularly crafty.
It is also — not to toot my own horn, here — the absolute gold standard by which I judge Christmas ornaments. Honestly, even the nice ornaments are best when they’re a little offbeat and, preferably, purchased at a steep discount on a whim. Last year, I discovered that the Metropolitan Museum of Art’s gift shop slashes prices on their Christmas stuff in January, and I bought a pair of chair ornaments, replicas of items from their world-class collection, for more than I’ll admit to paying but still much reduced in price. Does they make sense as an ornament? Not really, no.
I also spend the year picking up whatever random handmade item catches my eye at thrift stores and antique malls, quirky things that are absolutely not “aesthetic” but still represent someone’s best efforts. Consequently my tree looks like a rummage sale table, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.Two years ago, in a flurry of pandemic-induced enthusiasm at the urging of a TikTok I saw one time, I purchased a bunch of acrylic ornaments, ModPodge, and glitter at Michaels.
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