'I gamble by loving the Black men in my life. And the stakes are much higher with our hearts on the line.' (via ELLEmagazine)
“I’m not going anywhere. I’m not even playing the lottery,” my father Jerry P. Jackson said to my startled ears.
And truthfully his gambling is a habit I judged. The chances of you winning were slim, so why bother? The recent death of George Floyd at the hands of police officers in Minneapolis is devastating and terrifying. His horrendous end under the knee of a sworn civil servant immortalized by cell phone footage and seared to our collective psyche pokes at all of the scars and scabs of the other Black men we’ve mourned. The fathers, brothers, boyfriends, husbands, baby daddies, uncles, cousins, neighbors, bosses, friends, classmates that we’ve loved.
These are the men who aren’t willing to risk it big by going for their dreams or opening their hearts fully because breathing while Black feels like a risk. In 2014, when Eric Garner, an African American father, was murdered on a New York City sidewalk in an illegal chokehold by a police officer, I asked my then boyfriend to join me at a rally. He declined and I was frustrated that he didn’t want to protest the egregious act. “I live this every day,” he whispered. In that moment, I sensed the impact the trauma was having on him and respected his decision not to join a rally or be active in organizing.
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