The Complicated Art of Ordering Coffee by Janie Emaus
Boutique coffee shops such as Starbucks, Coffee Bean, Peets, to name a few, offer coffee drinks that have become works of art, with exotic names like Cinnamon Dolce Creme, Mocha Frappucino and Caramel Macchiato. And as if learning the names of these new drinks isn’t enough, I now have to familiarize myself with the new sizes being offered.Doesn’t “regular” mean what you usually order? “I’ll have my regular.
And yesterday at the mall, I could have ordered an ernome from a barista who was only too happy to add an extra shot of caffeine for only .75 cents. Such a deal. An enorme coffee alone was enough to give me the jitters. Every now and then I do stumble upon a small, medium and large menu. But then a small is what used to be medium, a medium is what used be a large and well…you get the picture. Food in this country has become Super Sized. Is that to fit our stomachs or our expanding egos?I want a jolt of my favorite blend,Just give me a coffee, hot and strong.The other day with my tall coffee in hand, my grandson excitedly showed me his report card. He got all 4’s.
Speaking of numbers, the last time I went shopping I was completely confused as to what size I should buy. The store’s sizing started with a zero and went to up to five. Now, I’m a small person, so I guess I’d be a negative number. Who wants to feel like they’re less than nothing? And really who is getting fooled? If you’re a five at this shop, well, then you’re a large. Oh, excuse me, a venti.
Yes, the world is changing, whether I like it or not. Things are labeled differently today. Back in my mom’s time, a woman with a hot flash was a woman with a hot flash. Now, well, to be politically correct, we’re called hormonally challenged women.A Satirical View | Making M*d*um FUN Again
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