These days, there are more golf-course cocktail send-offs and backyard potluck memorials, more Clapton and less “Ave Maria,” more Hawaiian shirts and fewer dark suits.
Dayna West threw her father, Howard West, a memorial celebration at Sony Pictures Studios in 2016 that included a marquee with one of his favorite sayings. By Karen Heller Karen Heller National general features writer for Style Email Bio Follow April 15 at 5:00 AM Dayna West knows how to throw a fabulous memorial shindig.
Death is a given, but not the time-honored rituals. An increasingly secular, nomadic and casual America is shredding the rules about how to commemorate death, and it’s not just among the wealthy and famous. Somber, embalmed-body funerals, with their $9,000 industry average price tag, are, for many families, a relic.
Funeral homes adapt More than half of all American deaths lead to cremations, compared to 28 percent in 2002, due to expense , the environment, and family members living far apart with less ability to visit cemetery plots, according to the National Funeral Directors Association. By 2035, the cremation rate is projected to be a staggering 80 percent, the association says. And cremation frees loved ones to stage a memorial anywhere, at any time, and to store or scatter ashes as they please.
The memorial Dayna West threw for her father included a film shown to attendees that included photos of Howard West with his parents as a kid in the Bronx. Funeral homes have hired event planners, remodeled drab parlors to include dance floors and lounge areas, acquired liquor licenses to replace the traditional vat of industrial-strength coffee.
From coffins to compost With increased concern for the environment, people are opting for green funerals, where the body is placed in a biodegradable coffin or shroud.“My work is letting people connect with the natural cycle as they die,” says Katrina Spade of Recompose in Seattle, who considers herself part of the “alternative death-care movement.” If its legislature grants approval this month, Washington will become the first state in the nation to approve legalized human composting.
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