'People who say 'enjoy every moment' have never sat next to my kids eating chips.'
follow @HuffPostParents on TwitterUntil I became a parent I never thought I would hear another human cry, because they stomped their own handsI asked my son to turn down his music and he 'okayed boomer' me so now we're turning off the wi-fi for a bit— luke i am your mother Husband: The kids have been at your mom's house all dayMy kids counted one less snail in their fish tank so now they’re crying, pointing at me because I’ve told them I tried a snail once at a fancy restaurant...
if you can spend most of the day turning off lights and closing cabinet doors that you have just turned off and closed then motherhood might be for youMy four year old loves eating sugar. I don't mean candy or sweets--I just walked in the kitchen and found him wrist-deep in the sugar jar, his face and shirt dusted white, like some Nickelodeon version of Tony Montana getting high on his own supply.Take your kid swimming so they can LOUDLY exclaim that they just peed in the water.
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