What loneliness can teach us about finding meaning in life, according to DrShigematsu
It was our last supper together. In the morning I would leave home to attend university in Tokyo. Grandmother would be alone, again. I became sad at the thought of leaving her and said, “You'll be lonely, won't you?” But she surprised me by saying, “That's OK, I likeI thought she was just acting bravely. I knew that she had been devastated when we — her daughter, her only child, three grandchildren and my dad—left her behind to go to America.
In my 20s I couldn't see what I see now in my 60s. Loneliness is an escapable part of the human condition. We try to escape it in so many ways, but aging brings more solitude and loneliness. When we face and embrace loneliness our relationship to it shifts. If we engage and befriend loneliness it can be a natural part of life and bring us freedom., the young lion grieving his dead father is told, “He lives in you.
I find fun ways to remember. Grandma passed away on February 22 and when I see the clock is 2:22, I imagine grandma is here. She was 111 and when I see 1:11, I remember her as well as my dogs who barked, “Wan Wan Wan!” Silly? Perhaps, but who cares? It sure feels good! In these moments I feel the presence of those who have left us."I am here, for you,” they are telling me.
That’s what we’re all doing—loving and losing, coming and going, living and dying. We do what we’re called to do here and then are called away, leaving those who remain behind with the challenge of making meaning of it all, or at least just moving on. And though I don't understand it, I draw strength in trusting that the departed are well, still by my side, or imagining that they live on in me.
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