“My boyfriend right after college had an ex-girlfriend who tried to get him to break up with me by telling him that I was ambitious and that was an unattractive characteristic. He told me that and I was like, ‘Yes, and?’”
Sallie Krawcheck. Photo-Illustration: by Stevie Remsberg; Photo: Getty Doing the Most is a special series about ambition — how we define it, harness it, and conquer it.
I was in investment banking in my 20s, and I wasn’t particularly good at it. I think what kept me going was partly ambition, and also insecurity. I wasn’t going to go back to my hometown to those girls who had bullied me and say, “Yeah, I went to New York, but it just didn’t work out.” It wasn’t until I was almost 30 that I realized I wanted to be an equity-research analyst. It took me eight years to get to the point where I felt like my skillset and my job were aligned.
But the part about my profile being too high — that really stung. A uniquely painful way to put down a female is to say that she’s looking for attention. We’re taught to be self-deprecating, and the research tells us that when women are seen as wanting power or attention, there’s a backlash against them. But not so for me. I remember saying to the person who gave me this performance review, “I haven’t done a single interview at this company that hasn’t been requested by our head of PR.
The second time I got fired was different. I got reorganized out of Bank of America, and that time, I did have a moment. I was standing in my living room the day after I got fired, and I thought to myself, “What if I don’t come back? What if I don’t make it?” But then, just a minute later, I was like, “No, because I’m just not going to give up until I do. That’s it. Move on.
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