There is something intoxicating about buying something you are sure will unlock your full potential. Until, of course, it doesn’t …
Illustration: Peter Arkle A year ago, I decided to become someone who knows about wine. Instead of guzzling sauvignon blanc, I imagined myself conversing confidently about vintages and viscosity, impressing friends and family with my sophistication. To accomplish this, I purchased Wine Folly: The Essential Guide to Wine, which had beautiful, helpful charts, and a Moleskine wine journal to document my journey.
A Guided Medidation App Illustration: Peter Arkle Last January, I decided, like everyone else, that my life would be much improved by meditation. If I could sit down for ten minutes and just breathe, I would finally have some chill, for once in my life. So, I downloaded Inscape, a guided meditation app that walks you through a short meditation session, and tried in earnest to use it every day for a month. Turns out meditation is horribly boring.
In order to carry all my stuff on these runs, I bought a small black fanny pack. At first, the plan seemed to be working. I would bring gym clothes to work, strap on my fanny pack, and run home, arriving sweaty and exhilarated. But, well, the Brooklyn Bridge is always crowded. And I’m not really a very good runner.
A Pressurized Water Flosser Illustration: Peter Arkle Back in 2015 I became convinced that a Waterpik pressurized-water tooth flosser would not only make me beautiful and healthy, it would be fun. The pictures of it reminded me of my Barbie swimming pool or something. I can’t remember how I first came across one, but I never floss and hadn’t been to the dentist in years, and it seemed like maybe this cute water-harnessing machine might be the answer to my avoiding any potential dental disasters.
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