I lived as a monk and studied Zen for 20 years—here’s the No. 1 thing people miss when they talk about happiness
Many of us are taught to believe that we need to be in perfect control of our lives in order to be successful or accepted. But that mindset made me unhappy for years.
At the monastery, I learned a valuable lesson about happiness that people often overlook: We can't control everything that happens to us, but wecontrol how we treat ourselves. Allowing ourselves to feel happy, no matter what our life looks like, is the key to real happiness.When you hold on to the need for control, you start to feel responsible for all outcomes of your life.
For example, right now, you might be worried about about finding the perfect partner. In a few years, it might be finding the perfect job.If you free yourself from the need to control everything, you can experience more happiness and gratitude in the present.Think about all the ways you're focusing on an imaginary future instead of the present.
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