The secret dildos from history - and why researchers are desperate to get our hands on them ✒️ WhoresofYore via ipaperviews
Experts at Newcastle University and University College Dublin have shown this to be the first known example of a disembodied phallus made of wood recovered anywhere in the Roman world.
The article, and the resulting media coverage, all included detailed photographs of the so-called “Vindolanda phallus”, which rather rendered the accompanying research unnecessary, because how anyone ever looked at this object and thought to themselves, the “Romans must have used this for sewing their socks” is beyond me.
Anyone who has any knowledge of the Roman Empire at all knows that this was a group of people who liked to feature penises in their décor. Phalluses turn up all over the Roman world. They are on statues, in art, carved into the pavements, worn as good luck charms, and were affixed to the walls of their buildings for reasons not yet fully understood. So, it’s not out of the question that the Vindolanda phallus was used like this too. But the size and shape of it make that unlikely.
So, could it have been a pestle? It’s a hefty lump of wood and I would imagine that it could grind food if you put it to that use, but, again, the wear isn’t in the right place for that. There would be considerable wear on the base and bottom, and there just isn’t. And as thenote, “There is no obvious staining or discolouration on the putative grinding surface”, which you would expect if it had been used as a pestle.
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