To The Partners Who Stick With Us Through Anxiety “I’ve learned to tell my husband straight-up how anxious I am and about an issue when it arises.”
. He’s done so much for me, and what do I give him in return? I’m often irritable, easily annoyed, and controlling. An outsider might label me as a nag, a critic, and a neat-freak. The truth is, everything is a side effect of having a beast of a disorder. Anxiety doesn’t play. It is relentless and tricky.? Anxiety tells me that I don’t deserve to let my guard down.
When I write this out, it is absolutely ridiculous. My true self knows that anxiety isn’t the bearer of truth. But my anxious self often wins the big and small battles and dominates my thoughts and actions. I’m not trying to shirk responsibility here. I’m still doing all the things I should, and they often succeed.I’ve learned to tell my husband straight-up how anxious I am and about an issue when it arises. I don’t conceal the fact that some things can unnerve me—quickly and viciously.
My husband is incredibly patient, dedicated and, most of all, safe. I can trust him with my anxiety. Though I wish, with everything I have, that my anxiety would magically disappear—forever—so I wouldn’t burden anyone else with it ever again. Some days I want to issue one thousand apologies for something I said or did because anxiety won in that moment. However, I also tell myself, it is OK to have anxiety, that no human is perfect, and that I’m doing my very best to combat it.
I accept that my anxiety will never completely go away, though I am proud of how we’ve worked as a family to tame it. I’m practicing the necessary self-care, and my family is supportive. They were with me through those darkest days, and they understand why my anxiety slips into overdrive when I’m triggered by an anniversary date, a medical checkup, or even just catching a glimpse of a cancer pink ribbon.
I hope my partner knows how much I appreciate him for sticking with me in sickness and in health. Anxiety isn’t what I planned for, but since it’s here to stay, we’re learning to navigate it—together.
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