'Self-stigma cost me many years of relationship with my brother.'
You’d be correct to assume that I wasn’t treated well by other kids. Either excluded or provoked by classmates, I was frequently involved in fights. If there was a black eye on campus, I was usually wearing it — or had inflicted it! With few exceptions, I was also disliked by my teachers. Overall, I felt rejected by peers, teachers, and my family.
I came to believe that Ron, especially, disliked me. Through the lens of my negative self-stigma, I witnessed constant “signs” that reinforced these beliefs, which persisted into adulthood. In time, I chose to avoid contact with Ron. While traveling on business and passing within two miles of Ron’s house , I made a point not to “disturb” him. Being estranged from Ron hurt, but I reasoned that Ron preferred it this way. I spent years avoiding my brother.
The new picture began to take shape after deciding to attend my high school’s 100-year anniversary celebration. Given our past, I avoided asking Ron if he was also making the trip back home for the event. Upon arrival, I learned from others that he was indeed present.Should I find him and speak with him? Should I avoid him? Should I leave unnoticed? What was Ron thinking?
I was wrestling with all of this when Ron emerged from the crowd and wrapped me a huge, warm, and loving embrace! My inner response was shock.
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