Colin Campbell's children were killed by a drunk and high driver. Three months later, he celebrated his 50th birthday. Ruby and Hart’s deaths had rendered the past 50 years of my life meaningless, he writes. How was I going to get through my birthday? How could I possibly celebrate?
Colin Campbell and Gail Lerner with their children, Ruby and Hart."We loved our family. We loved being together," says the author."Even when they became teenagers, we still loved being the four of us."
Ruby loved carrying Hart around, protecting him and taking care of him, says the author. "She also loved putting him in dresses and wigs. He always happily obliged." Almost exactly three months after the car crash, I was turning 50. It was time to send out invitations to my annual birthday beach bash. But now there was nothing to celebrate. Ruby and Hart’s deaths had rendered the past 50 years of my life meaningless. And my future stretched out in front of me like a wasteland of despair and pain.
So, instead of spending my birthday in bed, immobilized by grief, I sent out those invitations. Only that year it wouldn’t be a birthday party, it would be a memorial gathering to honor Ruby and Hart. I asked the guests to bring a special rock so that together we could spell out Ruby and Hart’s names in the sand. In the Jewish tradition, when you visit a grave you leave a rock on top of the headstone. It’s a physical gesture of love and remembrance. A rock is a solid symbol of love that endures.
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