We Want Kids Back In School, But We Can’t Pull The Wool Over Our Eyes

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We Want Kids Back In School, But We Can’t Pull The Wool Over Our Eyes
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B****es, you never complained about no-shirt-no-shoes-no-service.

wants to return to the shitshow of virtual learning. Working parents literally ain’t got time for that and kids need socialization. But chucking them unmasked and undistanced into schools whilesurge. Surge number four? Surge number five? We’ve lost count of surges and should probably just start naming them like hurricanes.

This back-to-school season, America should be feeling like Jessie Spano on caffeine pills: so excited — and so scared. Instead, we’re chucking our children into the equivalent of a level four biohazard without so much as an eyeblink. They need, plexiglass barriers, distancing regulations, and ventilation. Instead they’re getting wannabe Sith Lords screaming about civil rights.

Mask your kids. Demand distancing. Scream for ventilation. Don’t think your wittle baby will only be asymptomatic. Newsflash: people who are asymptomatic still spread the virus. The virus kills people. Therefore, asymptomatic people can kill other people. This is like, SAT analogy stuff? Which our kids can’t learn if they’re freaking about contracting COVID-19, likeWe can only hang on until Noah and Emma can be vaccinated.

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