“We have to wait there to eat something that we don’t get to choose, really, what it is,' Jack Schlossberg complained in a viral Instagram rant against dining.
the viral video, you may get the sense that the 30-year-old Yale and Harvard grad is your run-of-the-mill handsome nerd who harmlessly conflates eccentric ranting with humor. Or if you’re inclined to take his screed seriously, perhaps you’ll find it persuasive and emerge with a butcher knife in hand, ready to go to battle against the“We have to wait there to eat something that we don’t get to choose, really, what it is.”“We don’t know what any of them will taste like, or what’s good.
“You spend hours and hours eating at restaurants when you could spend a minute and a half eating something that is good for you.”Schlossberg then helpfully suggests that instead of sitting around a dinner table like a moron, indefinitely suspended in time and space, you can scarf down your food and “then you can go fucking lie down, you can go walk around, you can listen to music, you can get work done, you can hang out with your friends.
Mr. Schlossberg, while I know you are only joking, I feel it’s my duty to deflate the egos of attractive nepo babies before they get too big. Restaurants are great. Having someone present a little menu for you to read is a treat. They do not ruin your life. Spending hours eating at a restaurant is hours well spent.
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