Couples who want to pursue the ‘what’s mine is yours’ model should go right ahead, but if you don’t, that’s reason enough to take a different route
Photo: George Marks/Getty Images Email your money conundrums, from the technical to the psychological, to mytwocents@nymag.comMy boyfriend and I are about to move in together, and we’ve never really talked about money. We’re in our early 30s and have been dating for two years. I know we both have student loans and I think we’re in the same range of income, but besides that, we spend pretty differently and I have no idea what he has saved.
Not only is it the new normal to maintain financial autonomy from your partner, I would argue that it’s healthy. To be clear, couples who want to pursue the “what’s mine is yours” model should go right ahead, but if you don’t, that’s reason enough to take a different route. My own husband and I still keep all of our accounts separate, and Venmo each other when our collective expenses get uneven.
Still, you’ve got to kick it off somehow. “The directive of ‘just be more open with each other’ doesn’t do much for most couples,” says Megan Ford, a therapist who studies family finances at the University of Georgia. Instead, she recommends starting with logistical queries. “A good way to wade in slowly is to talk about how you organize your money,” she suggests.
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