A look at the complicated grey area between the two.
, we’ve seen an explosion in the term’s usage recently. In many ways, this is a good thing: more and people have found a framework in which to consider whether their relationships are abusive. Obviously this alone isn’t enough to solve the problem, given that leaving an abusive relationship is often a very difficult and sometimes very dangerous process. But the realisation, or at least acceptance, that something isn’t right can be an important first step.
All of this means that it’s important to be as clear as possible about what we mean when we’re talking about emotional abuse, and recognise that not all hurtful behaviour is abusive. “Sometimes bad, toxic behaviour is now more quickly categorised as abusive when it’s actually just immature or spiteful,” Sarah, a 23-year-old woman with lived experience of abuse tells me.
Are they any other signs she’d encourage people to look out for? “The drama triangle,” Gemma says. “At work, I hear this cycle of abuse every day and it's always the fucking same. The abuser creates a ‘drama triangle’, which means they freely move between rescuer, victim and persecutor and set the other person up to be the corresponding role.
“In terms of categorising the difference, it’s important to remember that emotional abuse in a relationship is a long, but most importantly an intentional and considered process, designed to make you specifically doubt yourself."
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