How to resolve the source of your anger instead of merely camouflaging it, according to drlee1
deficits, our covert, long-standing belief that our anger is not only warranted but essential in warding off attacks on our adequacy remains intact.anger management strategies that, because they don’t—and can’t—go far enough, may ameliorate your current anger without in any way conquering it.
Taking a timeout to reflect on the event and strive to understand it from a less personal, less accusatory viewpointto the rescue by reevaluating the situation from a less serious, more ludicrous, or even absurdist perspectiveskills—for if you can’t peacefully air out your frustrations so consequently must hold them in, over time their build-up will lead you to lose your cool even worsetoward the other person, scrupulously considering whether they really intended to offend you As much as...
What methodology, then, would enable you to rid yourself of—as opposed to merely camouflaging—old, outdated anger? I’ve discussed this challenging difficulty in many of my earlier posts on anger. Here, I’ll just pinpoint what’s involved in this endeavor and provide references to my writings in which I focus much more on procedures designed to help you get to the other side of anger once instrumental in not having to feel devastated by another’s criticism, refusal, or repudiation.
To the degree that you’ve adopted anger to conceal troubling insecurities or a fragile ego, it will hang around until those insecurities are revisited—and at last, resolved. Because you’ve yet to become sufficiently self-validating, and so attribute more authority to others than to yourself, you’ve remained highly vulnerable to “defaulting” to this so-destructive emotion in times of
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